The end of the beginning.

Journal

Clinical Day 8 – 4.28.2011

            I can’t believe today was our last day at clinical for spring 2011.  Time has flown.  We are two weeks away from finishing finals and completing what we anticipated was going to be the “hardest semester of nursing at Point Loma.”  I’m not going to lie, it’s a little bittersweet that the year is already over.  There have been many stressful nights, tears, long hours working on assignments, early mornings going to the hospital, the list goes on and on, so on one hand, it feels so great to be done.  It is relieving to say that in two weeks, we will have completed one year of nursing school and have almost four months off of school.  But through all of the challenges, I have grown so much and built strong friendships with the people who are on this journey with me.  We vent, we laugh, we hold each other accountable through each step of the way.  We will be there for each other until we graduate (or at least we all hope so!). 

            Not only have I developed deep bonds with the people I’m surrounded by, I have confirmed my passion for nursing.  I have found my calling.  I get so excited for clinical days, and it’s hard to think that today may be our last day in the hospital until the fall.  My patients have been amazing this semester, and there is so much to learn while being immersed into the hospital environment.  This year hasn’t been a cakewalk by any means, but it has been very rewarding.  As Coach John Wooden says, “There’s more value in the journey that in victory itself.”  I am going to be a better nurse from what I went through this past year.  A better nurse and a better person.  This is just the beginning. 

Always.

I wish I could make sense of all that I am feeling right now.  I wish I could describe the experiences that I believe are changing me.  But it doesn't all make sense and I can't explain it in words.  So many highs and lows over these past couple of weeks that have really made me think, reflect, process.

Good exam scores.
Bad exam scores.
Death of loved ones.
Amazing conversations with friends.
Good books.
Spending time with family.
Not wanting to leave when your cousins ask, "Can't you please stay just one more night?"
Beach days in February.
Broken friendships.
Spontaneous adventures.
Playing soccer overlooking the ocean.
Being real and honest....even if it hurts.
Memories that cling to the lyrics of certain songs.

But through the laughter and the tears, the tough conversations, and the screaming-and-dancing-around because-you-are-so-excited, God always provides.  Through everything.  His presence and love are unconditional and never changing.  He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  I may not understand, and I may question why certain things are happening, but he is faithful.  Always.

Sending some love from SD

Enough

The roof is low, and one light bulb dangles from the middle of the ceiling as the sole source of illumination.  No sound system.  No band.  No guitar.  No entertainment.  No cushioned chairs.  No heated or air-conditioned building.  Nothing but the people of God and the Word of God.  And strangely, that's enough.

God's word is enough for million of believers who gather in house churches just like this one.  His word is enough for millions of other believers who huddle in African jungles, South American rain forests, and Middle Eastern cities.

But is his Word enough for us?
This is the question that often haunts me when I stand before a crowd of thousands of people in the church I pastor.

What if we take away the cool music and the cushioned chairs?  What if the screens are gone and the stage is no longer decorated?  What if they air conditioning is off and the comforts are removed?  Would his Word still be enough for his people to come together?

(Radical, David Platt. p. 26-27)

Walk in the sunshine.

After many people asking, “Why haven’t you updated your blog lately??”, I decided it was time to give you a little snapshot of what’s been going on in my life.

Last semester ended well.  The last couple weeks were really busy as it seems like they always are, but a few pool days (85 degrees during the first week of December), a day at Disneyland, and time spent with good friends and family made it much better.  It felt so good to finish my first semester of nursing school and jump on a plane back to Portland with no books, no to-do lists, and three weeks of complete freedom for the first time since August.  Thinking about going to school for even another week made my brain hurt.

Christmas break was amazing.  I was expecting a much quieter break this year, maybe even a few days to just relax and not do much of anything.  Well, it didn’t really turn out that way.  One thing led to the next, and I think I managed to have just one “free” day all of break.  I know, I know, typical Taryn schedule as most of you would say J  And it’s true.  That’s how I like it.  Breakfast/lunch/coffee/dinner dates, a spontaneous visit from a good friend, spending time with family and friends over the holidays, Phil Wickham concert, snowboarding, celebrating the New Year, a few days in Bend, staying up way too late, and many little reunions later, my three weeks flew by.  I felt so loved and so blessed.  As I was not looking forward to returning back to school, the sunshine was calling my name, so I made my way back down here to southern Cal.

I’m officially two weeks into this semester already.  Classes are going really well so far.  I like my new schedule as I have more variety and some professors that really care about us as students.  I also get to see a lot more people and get to be outside more as I walk from class to class instead of staying in the same two buildings all day like I did last semester.  There’s no doubt that this semester will bring new challenges, but I think it will be fun and interesting as well.

Working on sending some blue sky and sunshine up north.  Love you all.

T

Blessed

I think I was out of my patient’s room more than I was in my patient’s room today, which was quite the change of pace for me.  I fulfilled my normal "student nursing roles" while my patient just watched movies and rested.  He was very calm and seemed sad.  I could tell deep down he wanted to talk about his life, but it brought up emotions that he didn’t want to deal with.  His lip quivered.  I think he appreciated my presence, but wasn’t sure how much he wanted to say.  He eventually opened up a little bit as I just waited.  He talked about how his life used to be before he was homeless.  Over the course of our discussion, it broke my heart to hear about the changes that have occurred over the past few years.  Coming from a strong, loving, supportive family, it was hard for me to imagine what this guy has gone through.  Because of those situations, I am constantly reminded of how great my family is and how thankful I am for them.  As I told my patient goodbye, he told me goodbye in return and expressed how nice it was to talk to me that day.  I left his room with a heavy heart.  It is those type of patients that make me wish there was something that I could do, wishing I had a big house to give them a place to stay, “extra” money to put them through rehab, or just more time to sit and talk to them.  I left today feeling very blessed. 

Here we go again

Over the last couple weeks, several people have asked me why I haven't started a blog or why I don't update my blog (for those who knew that I started one last year).  In response to many of you, I have decided that I would start posting again.  Here's to the beginning of the crazy ramblings from my life down at Point Loma.  I will also include a few journals from my first couple days at the hospital for those who have been asking :)